:: Life in the Lost Lane ::

Life in the Lost Lane
A collective of English Gentlemen

Friday, October 31

Rennie Breaks Detective

L3 Presents our contribution to the world of broken beats. We can't produce it, most of us can't mix it but we freakin' love it. So we do what we can do as a mark of respect.
Drop us a line if you like it and we may just write some more.
L3 would like to point out that the characters are totally fictional and are not intended to resemble anyone in the so-called 'real' world. Don't complain, it's just for fun - and the KKuts album is top o'notch
Enjoy, it all started with an email...
Smooth wrote:

Yo boys,

after a bit of research it has been brought to my attention that the krafty kuts album will feature guest "rappers" talking all over the music, which I understand is a hip hop/nu breaks fusion.

Plus...
The koma and bones album is only being released on LP!!!!

At least buying it on CD is not an option on the web yet...?

This can't be right.......someone please save me!!!!!

FADE TO BLACK
AS LIGHTS COME IN WE SEE AN UNTIDY OFFICE WITH PAPERS AND REPORTS STREWN ACROSS THE DESK.

RENNIE: "I can't help you detective. City Hall has cut our funds again and the lab can't afford to run those samples through."
WILL 'SOUL': "But those samples from the crime scene could lead us right to our killer"
RENNIE: "Look. I know - but you can't win this. You might have to walk away on this one. Just once."
WILL 'SOUL': "You clearly don't know me at'all. I'm gunna get to the bottom of this one and fast. I haven't come across such small mindedness since I heard the Liechtenstein national anthem. Have you heard it?"
RENNIE: "No. But why is this relevant?..."
WILL 'SOUL': "It's not. It just proves your not the man you used to be - when you used to work the streets, rather then being some coffee swilling desk jockey"
RENNIE: "Now I know you're mad. Calm down, or one of these days I'll take what you say as serious."
WILL 'SOUL': "I'm out of here."
RENNIE: "Go on - and cool it down a bit"
WILL 'SOUL':TURNING AS HE GETS TO THE DOOR "We could'a caught this guy. But one day - today - you let the rules stop you from getting to the truth."
RENNIE: "It's not my fault." UNDER HIS BREATH "You always were a maverick"
WILL 'SOUL' STORMS OUT. HEARD O/S SHOUTING AT A JUNIOR COP FOR BEING IN THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME
FREEDLAND ENTERS
FREEDLAND: "Here's those reports back form the lab - the HUM file"
RENNIE: "Wha'the?" SHOCKED AND CONFUSED "The chief said they'd be no more lab work without his say-so. I don't understand"
FREEDLAND: "Well this is the last file. It just sneaked past the chief. I'm glad because I know how much Will wanted this file and after he saved my daughter from that serial killer in the last episode - well, I owe him one." RENNIE WITH HEAD IN FILE "I can see you're getting into it, so I'll be off"
FREEDLAND LEAVES THE OFFICE. RENNIE ON HIS OWN
RENNIE TO HIMSELF: My God. [SILENCE as he reads on] This explains everything. [puts file onto table and walks to the window -waits. Walks back to desk and picks up the phone with a flourish]
RENNIE TO OPERATOR: "Yeah its Rennie, get me Will Saul's mobile NOW" PAUSE "Oh yeah, we're calling him Will Soul in this - damn lawers. OK, put me through to him then."
RENNIE WAITS FOR CONNECTION.
RENNIE: Will it's me. Don't hang up, just listen. I've pulled a few strings and I've got the answers you need.
PAUSE WHILST WILL 'SOUL' ASKS AN UNKNOWN QUESTION
RENNIE: Well your hunch was right, it does go right to the top of City Hall.
PAUSE WHILST WILL 'SOUL' ASKS ANOTHER UNKNOWN QUESTION
RENNIE: I'll need more time for that, but at this point it looks like the Koma and Bones LP will be out on CD. It'll just take time.
LONG PAUSE WHILST WILL 'SOUL' ASKS UNKNOWN QUESTION
RENNIE: That's right sometimes they don't bring it out on CD straight away....and no I can't understand why anyone would rap over breaks.
RENNIE [NODS AS HE LISTENS]: Yeah probably is some East-side Shorditcher getting "all gary" in the studio.
PAUSE
RENNIE: Well I'm glad it helped. [SMILING] I know you didn't mean it. OK then, bye...oh what?
PAUSE SCRIBBLES ON A PAD
RENNIE: I'll look into that for you. I'm not sure that they *can* sound the same. Perhaps the band at Old Trafford could only play one tune? PAUSE. OK see-ya-later.
HANGS UP
RENNIE LOOKS TO CAMERA: Two national anthems with the same melody. That's the sickest thing I ever heard.

ENDS
Hope y'all have a good weekend. we'll be supporting Fractured Ankle at their night, Truckers Café, Bar Vinyl, tonight.
Peace out, E! Wyte.

posted by E! @ 12:57 PM

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