Life in the Lost Lane

2009-02-03T20:03:00.002Z

Drawn back here by new events that have unfolded with a kind of determined certainty, I've spent a little time re-reading some old posts. Amused and confused is how I would best describe my feelings. My life has changed so dramatically that it's almost like I don't recognise the old me; my old motives.I love to write. Mostly to share with, and to amuse others, but it would be disingenuous of me

2006-09-07T14:30:00.000Z

Sections of doubt - extracts and morsels“There never was room out here for me.” She said as the door slammed.…The sun had risen alone. No one was around to welcome its arrival. The evening before had seen a great feast on the Lower Plane. The people had come out and rejoiced - for a time. At first, small groups had gathered by the benches and tables. Each bought colourful and fragrant foods

2006-09-07T12:06:00.000Z

MR. SLIPLOWE AND THE CASE OF THE MISSING JUNIPER BERRIES - PART ONE:Mr. Sliplowe eased himself from the passenger seat of Bill Tippin's white delivery van before nodding in thanks and collecting his hat from the dashboard."Good luck" Bill said through the now closed van door.His voice was muffled and was followed by a brief chuckle, which in turn was accompanied by a manly ripple of his double

2006-08-27T14:59:00.000Z

The Wingchip SagaAt cinemas everywhere this autumn

2006-08-26T12:19:00.000Z

COMING SOON: Mr. Sliplowe and the case of the missing Juniper berries

2006-08-18T08:44:00.000Z

Sections of doubtForthcoming...

2006-07-27T10:51:00.000Z

The Relentless ProgressionB's contribution is a post-script to this earler item.The swirling memories and crippling depression of the events that transpired two weeks ago are starting to settle like the last grains of sand after a windstorm in the desert.The unbridled passion that flowed just a few short weeks ago was all but destroyed by the Saturday night fiasco. A strange and expensive mix of

2006-07-20T10:39:00.000Z

In 1990 a team of researchers from the Clackenstein Institute were asked to investigate the backgrounds of three high profile Italian football players. Over many years the team gathered information through interviews, archive searches and simple leg work. What follows is the result of their efforts.The story of SwisharamaSwisharama was born in Columbia but when he was three, his family moved to

2006-07-03T11:49:00.000Z

Just 10 short days to wait until the highlight of the summer is upon us.Sometime between mid-day and six in the evening i and two of my compatriates will pass through those hallowed gates for a third year running. We will walk with guile and vigour into a *tract of land with few or no trees in the middle of a wooded area. (*please see dictionary definition of 'Glade')It's a place of

2006-06-02T10:14:00.000Z

WHITE WINS CASH-BACK AWARD FROM ROTTEN APPLEAn embattled consumer has today won a month long war of words against computer manufacturer Apple. The trendy PC builder accepted that it had failed to deliver on time and that customer service had been poor for Mr White. The angry consumer ordered his laptop in May and is still to receive it.Mr White, a father of seven living in London's "down and

2006-05-11T11:46:00.000Z

Well, here I am once againHello to no one and everyone!Things haven't changed much since my last visit (except my frame of mind - what was I on?)E!, the L3 blog founder, has it seems, abandoned his baby. That leaves me as the only person posting here since the start of the year. So who are these posts benefitting? Well, me for one! I enjoy typing out my thoughts to nobody in particular and

2006-01-14T09:46:00.000Z

Hello again (to myself!). I am thinking of making this blog my own, hijacking it, if you will. I'll come here from time to time to record the thoughts that yearn for freedom inside of me but cannot be expressed in the real world. I'll type out the ideas that scratch at the walls of my brain to be heard, to be saved somewhere and revealed as reckless and immoral when read back at a later date.

2005-12-31T09:34:00.000Z

Wow! It has been months since anyone has been here and posted. Months! Wow! Just another dead page on the internet eh? Here i am on the last day of the year two thousand and five (according to the christians) posting some fresh text and i've got to say it feels good, yes it feels like steppping into newly fallen snow. This is how Armstrong must have felt........when he won the tour de france, ha

2005-02-18T13:04:00.000Z

'Wo is me' says the blog page to itself. They must have moved on like so many others. Oh i'm just another dot com fad, i knew we wouldnt remain the largest blog page for long. The only thing i can console myslef with now is the fact that El started me up before everybody was doing it. El the trend setter, first and last time that'll be said im sure. (sorry bud, lol)What happened to that kid at

2004-04-17T22:49:00.000Z

Feeling funny, i eventually agreed. I would take part. There wasn't much more to discuss. I was involved and it was gonna take something serious to change that. "I don't wanna be a killjoy" Brian moaned. "But you need to show more heart." He was right, i didn't wanna do it, and because of that feeling, i wasn't giving it my all. I decided that i would put a little more effort in. Even if it meant

2004-04-13T21:00:00.000Z

When deeds don't feel good Today, as I walked into my train station I saw a woman. She was on her own. As I saw her she arrived at the foot of a stairway. The stairway leads up to bridge that crosses the rail way lines. Aside from a small, one story brick building which houses the ticket office there is little else that defines this as a station. It is a place like many others across the UK.

2004-03-11T13:43:00.000Z

Guess who's back, back again, Sleepo's back, tell a friend... Things seem to have changed a little since I was last here! 11 months in the Shire appears to equate to far more on the other side of Middle Earth. Has this turned into an advice line of a rather dark kind? Should I be scared? Having completed the challenges that I have thrown at myself over the last year, I feel an enormous sense of

2004-03-09T13:35:00.000Z

KILL SWITCH Paris, France – October 29th – 2001. The shrill electronic cry of the phone pierced the dark silence of the night. It rang several times before she woke to answer it. The large green numbers on the bedside clock read 02:52. Lifting the receiver she spoke softly, her eyes still closed. “Oui?” Her voice expressed surprise at such an unexpected call. The thick French accent of a man

2004-02-05T17:06:00.000Z

Far Eastern Tales If you, a friend or familly member have had a trip to japan/other continents in the last 6 months we want to hear from you. Also if you've had a trip, fall or accident in the last 6 months - regardless of fault, we have a team of ex-circus freaks waiting to help you. They've been re-skilled to use their various oddities to cheer you up again. So don't be silly and sad, call

2004-01-15T15:58:00.000Z

A SITUATION TO AVOID BUT AT WHAT COST? A response to AG4111 follows. But I think it's fairly wide spread issue. I don't want to say it but your situation sound hopeless. Cut away to front room. Woman and man, both in mid-twenties sitting on an Ikea sofa half the room is awash with vinyl, the other is clean and furnished in a selection of thourghtfully chosen soft furnishings, cushions. TV

2003-12-21T10:24:00.000Z

What's that I hear you say? You need new and exciting ways to kill your wife and get away with it? Well, never fear my young protege's. All will be revealed in the next installment of..... HOW TO KILL YOUR WIFE AND GET AWAY WITH IT

2003-12-21T10:19:00.000Z

HOW TO KILL YOUR WIFE AND GET AWAY WITH IT. Hello. Over the course of may years I was hired, from time to time to kill people considered a threat to national security. In my spare time i used the deadly arts to dispose of people i considered a threat to me. My superiors, of course, did not know of this. They were unaware of my 'extra curricular' activities. If i had been discovered I would have

2003-12-11T12:48:00.000Z

Forthcoming In the coming week we've lined-up some new content. Prof T is back from a long, silent sabbatical and hopes to chip in with some Prof T style antics. Expect some dense writing with some cleverly inter-woven 'big ideas'. There's the long awaited "How to..." Series, which we've been looking forward to for some time now. It'll be all the better once Smooth actually puts that piece

2003-12-10T14:24:00.000Z

Click clack click, Check the email quick Boss lady coming watchin vdu for naughtiness Alt, Ctrl, Tab Butties in me bag Boss lady sayin how many forms you done? Shift, insert, escape When will it end? At fiveï¿½O Clock or forty years if politicians please. Cursor up right Green and red light Space bar dirty, fingers black, clack clickety clack No signal found Static shock no ground, Square

2003-12-10T13:39:00.000Z

Can I tell you about the other night? Hello everybody, ive been very slack with the blogs of late, many apologies. Greetings to Mr White, Sleepo and Spencer. I have not an amusing anecdote, nor do i have a scathing commentary on social issues, and i dont even have any humour to inject. But i thought i would regale you all with a short, true story about a night out in greenwich with a

2003-11-21T16:54:00.000Z

HUM CLUB "So I'm sitting there, and I'm like no no NO. None of that's right." Anyway this went on for about 15 minutes and wasn't going anywhere, then some guy - who we didn't know looks up...and this guy has clearly been, like, listening all along. Anyway he just looks at me and says "No mate. Got that all wrong. [pause] that lot at TCR [taking the last gulp of coffee from his cup and

2003-11-13T15:12:00.000Z

9 OUT OF 10 The wife and I often take a drive in the country on Sundays. Up at 0700 sharp. A breakfast of kippers and toast, before bathing and grooming. The wife and I take turns in the bathroom of course, it just gets too crowded with both of us in there. I then venture outside to clean the car. Every Sunday morning, you'll find me there, sponge in hand. We both feel that's its very important

2003-11-10T09:55:00.000Z

Monday morning... I find it highly unlikely that, despite efforts by L3 to bring in a wider readership, anymore people will be tuning in this rather crisp Monday morning. If you have tales to tell or excitement that you feel others should enjoy, then click my name at the bottom of this piece and send in your well crafted words. You never know, you may get a contributors invite out of it. For

2003-11-04T15:20:00.000Z

New Years Eve Instead of spending ?£?£?£'s on not much this NYE, i propose a cheaper and more interesting trip. A JOURNEY INTO THE MIND OF SMOOTH Proceedings will begin at 1900 hours 31 Dec 2003 and will continue into the following morning. Schedule runs as follows: 1900: MEET AND GREET. With cocktails and nibbles. This is your chance to acquaint yourself with the other "passengers". You must

2003-10-31T12:57:00.000Z

Rennie Breaks Detective L3 Presents our contribution to the world of broken beats. We can't produce it, most of us can't mix it but we freakin' love it. So we do what we can do as a mark of respect. Drop us a line if you like it and we may just write some more. L3 would like to point out that the characters are totally fictional and are not intended to resemble anyone in the so-called '

2003-10-30T12:10:00.000Z

Crusade: L3 definition: A struggle, or application of force, from civil disobedience through to armed conflict. Often associated with the Crusades of the Christians into the 'holy lands' in the early middle ages. Doing something because you believe in it, in the face of adversity Fighting the power Getting fired because you are on a temporary contract (read: no rights, exploitation) and you step

2003-10-29T11:16:00.000Z

Another L3 b-day! Many Happy returns to A SMOOTH for TODAY. We did all gather and in a shirt and shoes style. Despite a bit of attempted negotiation by E! Wyte, it seemed that some bars do not allow free speech. The fight against corporate censorship continues. A good time, was none the less, had by all. Happy birthday SMOOTH E!

2003-10-24T19:57:00.000Z

A LIMERICK: There was an old lady from Dorset Who liked to keep rats in her corset They drank and they fed On vimto and bread But they carried the plague So she caught it!

2003-10-24T16:20:00.000Z

Next week... Rennie...Breaks detective, part 1.

2003-10-24T14:18:00.000Z

Friday As the working week draws to and end, here is some verse called: The offer of new work Working hours and annual leave, Make the job complete. Working hours and annual leave, Holidays, two days more a year. Working hours and annual leave, A pension to grow and grow. Working hours and annual leave, In day care the kids will go. Working hours and annual leave, I’ll sell my time to them

2003-10-15T14:09:00.000Z

COMING SOON: HOW TO KILL YOUR WIFE AND GET AWAY WITH IT

2003-10-13T13:29:00.000Z

Well another year slides past In a still and metallic room A corroded ball slides down a slimy filthy yarn The air is heavy damp With age, salt and rust Black fluid pools amongst the cracked and fettered tiles gangrene mould wells up the light bleeds into the room from above The rusty ball wrestles past a knot of gristle on the wet yarn Gravity pulls it closer it falls Gravity kisses the

2003-10-07T13:28:00.001Z

MAKING THE JOURNEY While i was on holiday i happened to find my way onto a nudist beach. Far from being a prude i decided to join the crowds, after all, i thought, i would look more out of place with my swimmers on. No sooner had i removed my blue speedos, i tripped and fell (ahem) privates first into a young couples nude beach picnic. My member was covered in honey and whipped cream. All around

2003-09-29T18:06:00.000Z

THE FIVE GOLDEN RULES TO A SUCCESSFUL MURDER. There are many different ways to kill a man, however, it's a different story if you want to get away with it. Hello, my name for the purposes of this instruction is John. This is, of course, not my real name. Should i reveal that, you would consider me a fool, and i would have broken the first golden rule. GOLDEN RULE 1: Always control

2003-09-18T11:38:00.000Z

Shock news Despite the offer of a new contributor to Life in the Lost Lane, there has been an unexpected delay. Without over elaborating, our new L3 member has been in a bit of a scrape and has been advised to stay away from work by his GP. Until he's all better, the chances of hearing from him on L3 is slim to none (in reality much closer to none than slim). That said, hope he gets better

2003-09-16T14:48:00.000Z

A warm welcome To a new member of the Life in the Lost Lane. I'm sure another genius from the T-gardens Institute of Creativity [TIC] will no doubt bring a smile to the faces of little children and drunk mothers everywhere. And speaking of creativity... The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Competition on this page is a hilarious starting point for clichéd inspiration in all that you do. Welcome again E!

2003-09-12T16:20:00.000Z

Truckers Cafe on greasy footing As you may know, the much vouched for warm-up that my two mates lay on has been cancelled due to legal issues and until a new venue is found (preferably one with an entertainment licence this time). "Truckers Cafe will return," the organisers were confident this morning. "We've confirmed that the line up we promised are still eager to play and they'll support us

2003-09-12T14:45:00.000Z

COMING SOON: THE FIVE GOLDEN RULES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MURDER

2003-09-10T16:34:00.000Z

Worth a look He's got an impressive family you know, this guy. He's a self-professed blacksheep, but enough back story. Just read this synposis and see what a genius he really is. Did I mention he's a self-indulgent independent film maker with a chip on his shoulder - natch. Read it and weep - genius stuff I have a few ideas about what to do with some of the material on this page. More news

2003-09-10T13:00:00.000Z

I promise i'm not sure about this Two words I want to look back on in future years. To look back in a not-so-jovial way I might (and will add). They are: Circadian cardigan Not too sure if they are conjoined or viewed in semi-dislocation. I quite like the people of the nordic region. Here's one here

2003-09-08T14:38:00.000Z

Is this the most self-indulgent thing ever? To suffer fully, you'll need to have speakers and stuff like that. I wish I had such a way with words, and loved the sound of my own voice quite this much. NOW SUFFER I'm off now, to enjoy a beautiful day and watch the sunlight stream through my window - natch.

2003-09-02T14:41:00.000Z

If only they sold chips...Obviously I love bacon.

2003-09-02T14:22:00.000Z

Working at home always suited me. The wife would leave every day at 0837. i stayed in bed either sleeping or dreaming up my next story. When the moment took me i would leap from my pillows and rush to the pc to start/work on/finish my current project. Sometimes i could sit all day tapping away in my night clothes. More often than not i would shower, shave, dress, eat some special k and toast,

2003-09-01T16:14:00.000Z

School mornings Autumnal spring in the air, A fresh crispness that sees new school bags, Hats, itchy v-necks and grey school trousers, Carry young heads into their first day, At school. A cool air that hangs in the morning, As luke warm sunlight colours overhead Leafs - ready to fall. Soon to make a mush on the playground. A mess in the school hall. Still and wet puddles lay lazy, Wetting

2003-08-29T14:18:00.000Z

No one has done anything for a while, so i'll pitch in with a little quote i last heard from the mouth of Mrs Soprano. "More is lost through indecision than wrong decision." I like it and whatever you may be "umming and arring" about today/tomorrow, it may just stop you losing something. The Smythe

2003-08-11T08:59:00.000Z

Congratulations A warm and heartfelt congratulations to Sleepo. On Saturday he was married. L3 wishes him and his wife a happy life together. ...and a write-up when he gets back ;)

2003-08-05T15:00:00.000Z

Mutha...is that you? Hello, it wasn't until just recently that i discovered a body in my loft. "We need the suitcase" My wife had called to me. It was the first holiday we were going to take for seven years. What with the bankrupcy, theft, ccj's, loan shark incident, credit card court case,(can't disclose the company for legal reasons) fire, resulting insurance claim, loss of resulting insurance

2003-08-05T10:09:00.000Z

Look below!, the red eye gang strike again!! Apologises, for not being a frequent flier on this blog, but even with unlimited access to the net, it is still hard to get on here and let the verbal thoughts flow. Good to hear that everyone is still mentally stable. E! you should watch 'The Transporter' and 'Fiinal Destination 2' I suggest FD2 rented on DVD cos there is a lot of good extras!!

2003-08-04T11:39:00.000Z

A few weeks back... I had a really good time and met some good people. Cheers guys. You know it makes sense.

2003-07-31T15:07:00.000Z

Response to unsolicited apeal for funds ##Although it is a fundementally good cause at the end of the day## ##So giv'em some money## Sir, I cannot help but feel let down by your recent correspondence regarding 'donkey adoption'. I find it curious that you, one of my longest acquaintances would commit against me such a heinously insulting gesture. I feel compelled to highlight here the two '

2003-07-31T15:00:00.000Z

Oh well chaps Its seems he was an innocent victim. How quick will the redtops say sorry? ...might be some time. I wouldn't want to be Mathew Wright at the moment...but i'd love to be his lawyer.

2003-07-29T08:15:00.000Z

Machines that Time forgot Last night saw a group of historians built a Byzantine 'Fire Ship'. Although the idea of a cauldron full of heated oil on a furnace in a wooden built replica boat sounds like good TV...with hilarious/explosive results. The show shocked and entertained in other ways: These people had real problems making a PUMP to spray the hot oil at the target ship. And they were

2003-07-28T10:13:00.000Z

Life in the Lost Lane. It seems that L3 has floundered as of late. ChimpA has most definitely gone silent, which is a real shame from, in my eyes at least, a great man. Half Empty, one can only assume is doing "OK" but some wisdom from the home of the english BigMac is always welcome and raises more than a rye smile. As for Sleepo, well I understand that he's not online as often as he once was.

2003-06-27T15:15:00.000Z

HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE THERE? All has gone quiet! What a shame. A flurry of activity came to an abrupt end, is there a future for L3? I think, perhaps, nobody could quite think where to go with the last topic raised by E!. I think we've kinda been there before. How about a little discussion on the Beckhams, I'm sure that's one for E!. Should the England football captain be a regular on the

2003-05-19T15:02:00.000Z

Oh and The Sun also printed this as an opening block, the week the story broke: "Always on prowl BY day, [name of alleged] is the warm, friendly face of ITV's hit show This Morning. By night, he shows a very different side -prowling parties and night-clubs to satisfy his lust for women." Classic journalism, harmless entertainment or irresponsible and illegal?

2003-05-19T14:39:00.000Z

Monday and all is well. Had a splendid weekend on the 'Sarf' Coast. As they say in some less than amazing bars "Eat, Drink and be Merry" - and I was. Less about me, more about the world... we all know about the police and Criminal Prosecution Service not charging a TV celeb/presenter this weekend for his alleged 'sex-demeanours'. The story first surfaced in the auto-biog of a Swedish

2003-05-16T08:53:00.000Z

Well, it's Friday. This week has fizzed with activity, with posts going up quite frequently. It's always good to see Sleep's wake fom his slumber and chip-in in his own inimitable style. As it's friday I thought I'd draw the collective attention of L3 to this story. It's quite worth a read and maybe even a line on it? "What is this . . . thing?" -Imperial Officer, after seeing Chewbacca on

2003-05-15T15:13:00.000Z

My work here is done I sighed and drew deeply on my pipe. It is time to make the treacherous journey back to the Shire… Well here I am, I’ve finally made it! I sit in front of this screen and contemplate my life. What have I achieved? What do I want to achieve? Whoa! Take it easy a while. Why all the deep questions. Well having taken some big decisions over the past year or so, life has taken

2003-05-15T06:17:00.000Z

All is fair and well in the world of E! I now have greater access to L3 than I have for a long while. Let's just see whether that translates into more blogging? Gordon has just ruled out the UK entry to the EuroZone on grounds of "failing the five tests". What interests me is that rumour had it Gordon would be 'side-lined' by Blair to Foreign Office with Alan Millburn into Number 11. The

2003-05-12T12:05:00.000Z

The world of work is a strange thing, when you don't have it, you want it and when you've got it your not happy with what you have got! Maybe we are all driven simply for the money aspect. Maybe we need to be occupied, because, who know's what we would get up to if we weren't kept busy, 'idle hands' and all that. The change document, indicates just that, a bit of a change, meaning that I will

2003-05-02T15:20:00.000Z

Well. I'd love to say I don't know what you mean by the first comment. I can't. I'd be lying. Is there any reason for Britains most un-self-aware man to have so much time off. Or is he in 'important meetings' this week? I hope your doing well 1/2 empty and that the change document that came about a few weeks ago doesn't represent dark clouds on the horizon. I'm off to conceal, cheat and

2003-05-01T08:28:00.000Z

It's a Thursday morning, and *other* people in the office have already been off for 2 days this week and are having a 1/2 day today. I'm sure thos in the know, will 'get' whom I am talking about! Long gone are the heady days of table tenns, battle tanks, table football, making crime scene outlines ect... But hey, time are a changing.... I assume that everyone is ok, will post soon.... Smoby,

2003-04-17T14:34:00.000Z

Maybe something to mull over the weekend? http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/55/30316.html Or Are smoking animals ever funny? Thx to B3TA.com for this. Fly casual.

2003-04-17T14:20:00.000Z

For two months L3 has remained silent. Today I have to mark the collective memory of L3 with a (sort of) fairwell. Sleepo, who has contributed to these columns in the past is now on his way to bigger and 'more local' things. Sleepo will be leaving the area and job he's now used to today and I feel I speak for the brave few who are L3 when I wish him every success. Of course - this being a

2003-02-21T10:17:00.000Z

The media may have a responsibility, but only to itself. Views are subjective, there are no two ways about that, hence the name. There is no media chameleon that can report from 2 simultaneous directions. They would be viewed as being unreliable and having no stand-point of there own. Think about when you are discussing a particular report, or, story, at some point there will be mention of

2003-02-20T13:08:00.000Z

The media has a responsibility You have put forward a few facts E!, but you have not committed yourself to an opinion, why does that not surprise me! This perhaps wasn't where I wanted to go with my last blog, but it is valid. I guess my argument is that the media should report fact and allow us, as intelligent human beings, to draw our own conclusions. Having said that, is this not exactly why

2003-02-19T18:10:00.000Z

What do you think the media should do? Inform, Educate and Entertain? Comment or reflect. The media. The word comes from the verb mediate. It is someone telling you something. It is, by definition a processed view that has had a spin on it that is to say, someone else was there and this is what they saw. Perhaps one of the problems is that we (as a readership/audience) forget this spin,

2003-02-13T13:52:00.000Z

I would like to get into a deep verse about morality and my lack of belief in it. About the problems the world is facing. About the religious and racial conflicts casting a huge black cloud over our planet… However, having consumed approximately ten pints of lager last night, preceded by a burger, followed by a chicken kebab and accompanied by a few frames of pool and the viewing of a rather

2003-02-13T11:35:00.000Z

L3 may have dried up for a bit, but it has not reached its' mid-life crisis, there is no need to reach for your HRT yet! Patience...This could only be the calm before the storm......The test before the epiphany.......The Bull before the shit. ( > _ < ) BEEFCAKE!!

2003-02-07T13:05:00.000Z

L3 has certainly dried up as of late. I intend to keep the blog as a nice route to those I am geographically moving away from. New challenges await me and, at least I expect a new pace of working. Spending time at this place has worn me down. Not sure whether knowing that I have an exit route has heightened my feelings of boredom, anxiety and frustration that have, increasingly cast me into my

2002-12-18T16:40:00.000Z

1/2 empty, how can i thankyou, your words are wise. i cannot believe that i have omitted, nay, even considered the obvious yet brilliant self cultivation tactical approach. Even if she does not take the organic bait, the little picture of the santa hat wearing tomato will surely leave me blowing bubbles into my snowball. Come on now, i'm sure we all could do with a little christmas survival

2002-12-17T12:33:00.000Z

On the subject of stretching out conversations about tomatoes, why not ask your Grandma, if she has considered growing her own. This would aid in negating the issue concerning price ranges in different supermarkets, as she would potentially have her own supply. You could then suggest that if her tomatoe harvest goes well she could start to sell them to neighbours, friends and family, which would

2002-12-16T13:40:00.000Z

Chimp: You can choose your job, your friends, the love of your life an even the tomatoes you eat. You cannot choose your family. Various attempts have been made to free the youth from the bondage of the family. Have these attempts been successful? I think not. The notion of liberal democracy and in particular free market ideals are centred around meritocracy. The best, brightest and most able

2002-12-16T12:26:00.000Z

well the festive season is upon us, it holds many different meanings for diferent people. The birth of our lord and saviour the most high jesus christ, gettin pissed and eating until your new shirt buttons are ready to burst. I will be returning to my home town of Blackpool for my annual family visit. I'll be staying at home for a whole week, during which i will either get very drunk every day,

2002-12-02T12:30:00.000Z

i'm probably a little late for this one, but i feel a need to comment on it anyway. The live autopsy thing, as sleepo pointed out, the majority (that can be bothered to comment) have adverse feelings towards it. wot a load of ********. are these the same people that dont mind animal testing, abortions, experiments on unborn babies, genetic fiddlin, clones, need i go on. even a strictly religious

2002-11-22T11:34:00.000Z

Mornings...........Recently do I not like mornings, with everyday becoming more and more of a battle to wrench myself from my comfortable duvet cocoon. It's not that I can't wake up, that's not the problem, when the shreiking piercing of the alarm clock ruptures my childlike innocence of sleep, I get up walk to the alarm clock that I have strategically placed on the otherside of the room, turn

2002-11-21T16:55:00.000Z

I think that a dead body is a dead body. The dead don't care anymore, they cannot care about their corpses, as they no longer have the ability. At the end of life comes death. Silence. There can be no complaints amonst the din of the silence of death. The dead don't dare, only the living do. I'm all for it (the dissection) and, had I been more alert would have paid the money and taken my

2002-11-21T16:47:00.000Z

The working day is drawing fast towards it's conclusion and if I do say so myself it's been a bloody productive one. I feel the need to just put a few words down here in order to slow myself down a little (gotta save some work for tomorrow after all). There is clearly such a thing as 'too efficient'! I'm not really quite sure what I want to talk about whenever I come on here. Do I bore everyone

2002-11-21T16:44:00.000Z

Intriguing little portrait into the life of a woodlouse, but doesn't lack of intervention count towards the cause of its' death? So directly or indirectly.............................YOU ARE A COLD BLOODED MURDERER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2002-11-21T16:27:00.000Z

Last night I went up to my bathroom. As I stood there, I happened to look down into the sink. A woodlouse had made its way into the basin. It struggles up out of the darkness towards the warmth of the room. It now struggles on, against the walls of the sink. The smooth surface and the rolling plain of the porcelain make the task impossible for the crustacea. It has a tiny body. A dark

2002-11-20T11:08:00.000Z

A large woman squeezes herself onto a bench. The bus rolls on and Woolwich beckons. The woman pulls a young boy toward her. He is no older than five and his head is a bright shock of blonde hair.In his hands, as he wrestles in vain to mount the seat, is an unfeasible bag of potato crisps: The Real McCoy's. The packet dwarfs the little man's hands as he grapples to consume the breakfast his

2002-11-19T10:09:00.000Z

As he looked down, he prodded and probed in the workings of the machine. He tooted. He sighed. He offered up a look at me that let me know I was in for a shock. "Its a good days work," he said as he rubbed his head with a heavy hand, "but i'll have it back with you by Tuesday." And there, we have it. L3 has been slightly re-formatted with a few new bells and whistles. All i have to do is

2002-11-19T09:45:00.000Z

"Many who live deserve death, and some who die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment."

2002-11-15T16:53:00.000Z

Well if it wasn't for the Mettaxa, Ouzo and various other spirits that help me through the week and copious amounts of lager that leave the weekend a blur, indeed I might as well be dead. The Chimp is right, it's creeping up and there's nothing we can do about it. Make the most of the weekend and try and scrape together the remnants of various memories that don't quite make sense to create a

2002-11-15T16:41:00.000Z

And so, the week draws to a bloody end. The monotony and boredom of a friday finaly destroys my soul and I have nothing left to look out for accept the long darkness of friday night. It will soon be monday again. E!

2002-11-15T15:00:00.000Z

Hello folks. only a few days in and the take up is a good sign. Two more invites are still outstanding, so don't hang on...sign up today.(it is free) Welcome to chimp, 1/2 empty, and sleepo. First in so stay active. +++++++++++++++++++++++++ HOT TOPIC +++++++++++++++++++++++++ I've threatened you all with this, so here it is. After the bold start by the Chimpster I'd like Monday's focus

2002-11-15T13:15:00.000Z

I am 67% Ska

2002-11-15T12:55:00.000Z

sat chewin on last nights hastily prepared sarnies contemplating the thoughts of an angry 16 yr old. i used to think 'by the time i'm 25, i'll be dead.' Yes, the old 'live fast die young' sentiment rang true within the stirring spirit of the street urchin. Funny thing is, i wasn't far wrong. I'm 24 and i'm most certainly dead. The last remnants of the old grey cells are probably stuck on the

2002-11-15T12:28:00.000Z

Probably best for all uninitiated gentlemen to refer to the first post of this blog. Essentially though, we just want personal reflection and interaction with the other members. If you feel you know someone who can write and has access to a machine everyday, let me know and ill invite them. The aim is a creative community thats worth stopping in on everyday. E!

2002-11-15T11:48:00.000Z

aahhh mr wyte i presume, it took me a while to fathom, then 'jolly sticks' roused memories of a laid back entertainer known as one of three swordsmen. Many thanks for this honoury position among the exalted. Please inform of protocol and proper function as i wish not to offend or bore. Roger.

2002-11-15T10:06:00.000Z

Back to work after an evening of boredom. Got up late. Don't care. Walked out into a shower, got wet waiting for the bus. Care. It's a Friday with sun and showers predicted. So what does the weekend offer? A few interesting prospects, namely a long drive down to Eastbourne, on the South Coast. Followed by a game of hockey that may see the mighty 'heath slip from top spot. One thing is

2002-11-15T09:56:00.000Z

Having just carried out the internet test, I can confirm that it is indeed incredibly boring and, for want of a better word, crap. I got 12% and felt it unnecassary to put up the 'not an internet addict' image. I find it deeply disturbing that anyone could score highly in this test. Perhaps this tells us something about the man that started this blog. Oh dear.

2002-11-14T16:50:00.000Z

Today i did this. Took less than aminute and is AS boring as it sounds...Still gotta'be done I am 26% Internet AddictI could go either way. Deep into the madness of nights filled with coding CGI-Scripts and online role playing games, or I could become a normal user. Good luck!Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com

2002-11-14T14:48:00.000Z

Unfortunately I missed the action!! But I will be calling in a independent review of the whole situation as there may be claims of 'match fixing'. Altohugh I didn't exactly catch the game, even over my incessant sniffing, (damn viruses to hell!!!!), I could hear the celebrations, as each goal was rocketed into Sleepo's goal.

2002-11-14T14:47:00.000Z

The previous match report logged by E neglects to mention the first of the two games, which resulted in an easy 9-1 demolition. Sleepo displaying overall control of the match and even having time to toy with the E defence. The second game was marred by E's 'tactics' of shaking the table in order to unnerve the usually unflappable Sleepo and gain the run of the table. Perhaps a heavier table is